older people and sex

Older singles and sex

What happens when an ageing baby boomers finds themselves suddenly single? The answer for many is plenty of action between the sheets.

The current generation of seniors is no blushing bunch of old fogies ready to hang up their spurs. This is the baby boomer generation which came of age during the sexual revolution so it’s hardly surprising that when large numbers found themselves over fifty and unattached, many revelled in new opportunities provided by online dating to leap back into the saddle.

Having worked for three years as an online dating coach, I often find myself helping clients deal with the sexual negotiations they face with new partners.

Astonishingly large numbers of boomers are now unattached – 528,000 men and over 915,000 women aged between 55-75. It’s hardly surprising many are now using online dating to come together. According to 2014 Nielsen research conducted for RSVP most over fifties singles (53 per cent) have tried or would consider trying online dating.

There’s intriguing new data showing typical patterns:

  • Almost a third of over 50 singles have slept with someone they met online, according to the Nielsen research.
  • A third typically have sex by the third date, 11% on the first date.
  • But many others take it more slowly – another third wait until 5-10 dates or longer.

There are extraordinary stories from this new dating scene. Like the 68 year old Sydney man stunned by how many women came on really strong: Massaging his crotch whilst standing at the bar ordering their first drink. Tongue kissing to say a first ‘hello.’ Finding an excuse to ask him home and then undressing before the front door had even closed.

Most women are more subtle but open to possibilities: “If I meet someone I find attractive, I’d rather just jump into bed quickly and get the preliminaries over and done with. Chatting in bed has always been much easier than stiffly conversing over a cup of coffee,” says Andrea, a 66 year old Melbourne woman.

Of course, the ageing male body isn’t always up to it. When one of my older clients settles into a relationship often I hear from her a few weeks later, seeking help with her new man’s erection problem.

I wrote about all this for the Sun Herald recently. Here’s the full article – older singles, dates and sex

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