Lost Mojo

Finding your mojo

Very interesting story from one of my recent dating clients.  I’d been working with a Melbourne woman, helping her put together a lively profile and select great photos. Just as she was all set to put her profile up on RSVP she went to a dinner party and met a man.  Within days it was on for young and old.

She’s even had a rash on her chin from three days of non-stop kissing. Quite embarrassing for 50 year-old – but her lovely new partner has now learnt to shave a little more often.

It’s intriguing how often this happens. People starts to think seriously about online dating and potential dates start popping out of the woodwork.  I discovered that last year when I was giving advice to three women who were blogging about their online dating experiences on Wendy Harmer’s website – thehoopla.com.au

Soon after she started, Lou Lou, our 34 year- old, discovered all sorts of men in her normal life started approaching her. “I’ve found my mojo rising! It is red-hot and on fire, people!” she wrote, suggesting that she had internet dating to thank for that: “This time last year my love life was barren and dry, not even a cheeky wink to wet my whistle. Now, I have more action than a Masterchef kitchen.”

Lou Lou’s explanation was that “internet dating has reminded me that male attention makes me feel alive and buzzing. But in order to receive it, I must be open to it. That means I’m now considering men I wouldn’t have looked at in the past. It’s like shopping and stumbling upon animal print. I normally wouldn’t consider it but now I’ve given it a go, and guess what – it looks and feels good!”

So many of the people I work with have gone for years with a sold sign on their foreheads – they simply weren’t interested in meeting new partners and that message came through. But after starting online dating, they start to think differently, they send out a different vibe and their mojo kicks in.

As my successful client points out, the process of writing her profile and thinking through what she was really looking for in a man also helped her be realistic about her priorities. She got real about not expecting a man to tick all her boxes and decided what she really wanted was banter – a man who offered lively, intelligent conversation.  And she found that, in a man who once might not have appealed to her but with her new mindset, really lit her fire.